Assignment 1: The Introductory Letter
To: af_somrita.ganchoudhuri@singaporetech.edu.sg
From: 2002654@sit.singaporetech.edu.sg
Subject: Self-introduction
Dear Professor Somrita,
My name is Arsyad Rusydi and this letter serves to introduce myself as a student in your Effective Communication class. Before I became an undergraduate in the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) under Civil Engineering (CVE), I graduated with a Diploma in Aerospace Technology from Ngee Ann Polytechnic in 2018. Like some of my peers, you might be wondering why I chose a completely different course of study when I enrolled in SIT. When the world was hit with the Covid-19 Virus outbreak, the Aerospace Industry was greatly affected and it made me realize, I did not want to face any uncertainties as a working adult.
I have always felt that communication is an important life skill that everyone should have. I believe that I am confident when speaking, be it with people that I know or a group of strangers or acquaintances. As an intern in General Electric Aviation, I was involved in many different projects where I was required to work with various engineers. I felt that I have excelled especially when I have to pitch my work to senior colleagues who may think my work as an intern is not satisfactory.
Though I am able to speak confidently to people, I have trouble listening to people. From my experience, this has led to instances where I missed out on important details when speaking to my colleagues. Being a good listener is crucial especially for an undergraduate, and I strive to improve my listening skills.
I hope that I am able to improve my communication weakness as mentioned above, as well as learning how to speak and write professionally. Communication is a major aspect of an engineer, as it boosts oneself performance which ultimately leads to delivering quality work.
I look forward to your classes and hope to become proficient with my communication skills.
Warmest regards,
Arsyad
Hi Arsyad,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a well written introduction letter about yourself. I found myself learning so many new things about you. I am amazed by your courage of taking up a course which you do not have any prior knowledge. However, I am glad that you are studying on something that you have great interest in. I can tell your strength is in public speaking and it is something I hope I will be able to learn from you. You carry yourself with such high confidence and are able to get your point across easily to people. Your approachable demure makes it easy for others to approach you and have casual and fun conversations with you. I sincerely hope you will be able to achieve what you set out for.
Great blog post, will be looking forward to future updates from you!
Catalina
Hi Catalina,
DeleteThanks for your insightful comment! Hope to learn from your communication skills too!
Arsyad
Slow and steady Sir. You will achieve the goal that you have been wanting for and we as a classmate really glad to have you on our class and may we strive to graduate together!
ReplyDeleteHi Arsyad,
ReplyDeleteI love the way you structured the letter and how you provide the details on each points. Just by reading through the letter I am able to understand you better. I like how you address on possible questions and provide explanations. I am impressed by the way you are able to link your strengths and weakness from your previous experiences. The flow of the letter was good with just the right amount of information at a time.
I am looking forward to work with you in the near future. I hope we are able to help each other grow and overcome our weaknesses.
Cheers!
WenYong
Dear Arsyad,
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this letter. I enjoyed reading your letter. There are few issues to consider regarding language use. Below are my suggestions:
1. Rephrase:
My name is Arsyad Rusydi and this letter serves to introduce myself as a student in your Effective Communication class.
When the world was hit with the Covid-19 Virus outbreak, the Aerospace Industry was greatly affected and it made me realize, I did not want to face any uncertainties as a working adult.
I felt that I have excelled especially when I have to pitch my work to senior colleagues who may think my work as an intern is not satisfactory.
I hope that I am able to improve my communication weakness as mentioned above, as well as learning how to speak and write professionally.
Let's work on this. I look forward to seeing how you can polish the letter.
Best wishes,
Somrita
Thank you for introducing yourself. I like your content and it gave me more perspective of you. Your letter is engaging with the use of varying length of sentence and the reflection of your strengths and weaknesses sound sincere as I think I have experienced that side of you myself. Also, the use of various vocabulary, and the different style of structure/explanation in each paragraph make things more interesting. I do have different view for life but I’m glad you have a strong mind of your own and putting it to action. Below are my thoughts and my style of how I would have written:
ReplyDelete1. I don’t usually use more than 1 ‘and’ or ‘or’. Can’t remember why but I vaguely remember my primary school teacher said so. 'I believe that I am confident….’
2. I think the first 2 sentence can be combined as it sound a little weird though the use of 2 different start ‘felt’ and ‘always’.
3. ‘As an intern…’ the sentence sounds like you are currently still and intern there.
4. ‘As an intern…’ the same sentence I do feel that there is no answer the the starting clause. Felt like its not a complete sentence or missing answers like so what you are an intern and work with engineers? I kind of expecting more like you would say I have outwit those engineers although I am just an intern or I am part of the project that flew of boeing 787. Also, are you mentioning that as your second strength? because it doesn’t seemed to link to being confident when speaking or probably you could relate the intern example back to speaking confidently.
5. ‘Hope to become proficient’, I think i would write be proficient instead.
6. ‘Like some of my peers…’ I think first paragraph sounds a little weird as a whole and it cause the letter to be a little informal.
Again, above are just my opinion and how I would write it. Neither do i have a PHD nor am excellent in English, please take this comment as a pinch of salt. Looking forward to improve together.